Jumperoo!

Today is Mia's first time sitting in her jumperoo. She has the saucer-type bounce bounce that spins 360 degrees. She had an absolute blast! It's incredible how quickly she's growing up. Right now she's sitting in her bouncer Aunt Leann and Grandma Wagley got for her, talking to the ladybug hanging down. Tenor is sniffing her feet. We're just getting over a little bout of colic... brought on by Mommy's neglectful eating habits. Chili is not a good idea. (But then again, neither is milk, coffee, chocolate, sugar, broccoli, spinach, hummus, babaganoush, sausage, or anything else delicious. : ) )

Despite the disappointments I've faced in the past... well... in my life...
especially the goings on with Garry, I couldn't be more pleased with my lot in life. Going into this whole baby thing, I was excited to start my life with the man I loved, excited to have babies with him, become a family and experience all that it entails. When I found out about... we'll just call her O.S. (Olga's skank) for short, I was devastated. I felt (and continue to feel) so betrayed, humiliated, and furious. I thought that Garry and her had ruined my happily ever after. But every day I get to spend with this angel makes me feel bad for him. I get to wake up with her every morning. When she cries, it's me she wants. She went from 7 lbs 1.4 ounces at birth to her happy and healthy 10.5 lb self today. As my mother told me, as a breastfeeding mommy- that was all me. Her thriving and growing physically and emotionally is me. I'm her everything. And even if I'm not that for Garry, he's the one missing out. I'm a catch. And Mia... she's a miracle. When I love someone, as I loved him, I give them my all. It's how I was raised, the life I was exposed to. When you love someone, it's unconditional. He didn't get that. He got a father buying him things in between drug binges. He got that same father leaving for good when he was 7. He got year after year of his mother jumping from man to man- using them until she finally left them. He knows nothing of the awesome strength a true commitment can offer.

And I pity him.

Even though we're not together, and Mia doesn't have her father in her life, I'm going to find someone who can give me that 'forever' type of love that I deserve.

And he'll end up alone.

And this precious little cupcake gives me her smiles everyday, plays with me, sleeps beside me, LOVES me.

I'm so lucky.