Kalamazoo and poop.

This past Wednesday I had my psychiatrist appointment up in Kalamazoo. While I was up there, I bought a swing from a lady off of Craigslist. It's identical to the one Sammy has for Vera and Mia LOVES it!!!

After picking up the swing, we went to go visit Katie at work at the shell station in Matawan. It was very, very nice to see her smiling face, though extremely awkward when her coworker asked if Mia was Garry's baby.

Clearly not.

She's MY baby.

My appointment went well. Definitely alot more productive than last month. Rubberbands and ice cubes. She has decided to change my medication to something called Trazodone? Once I'm done breastfeeding, that is.

Speaking of, Megan and I experimentally started small amounts of soy formula last week. She shows no preference to either that or breastmilk. She could care less what bottle it's in, whether or not it's warmed... It's so strange that breastfeeding, which is of course the natural choice, causes her so much dietary distress... and after introducing cereal and the soy formula she's less gassy, less fussy, virtually NO spit up. So I'm starting to slowly switch up the ratio of breasfeedings and bottle feedings. So far so good! I'm sad to be missing the closeness that breastfeeding gives us... but I think that it's better for her health and mine if we switch over.

After my appointment, I got to go visit the EVER wonderful Sammy D and Ms. Vera! Vera is sooo big. She's sitting up on her own now, feeding herself finger foods, eating big girl foods! And boy can she roll! The next step is crawling and she was almost there Wednesday! I'm so excited for Mia to get to that stage. Sammy and I went out to Olive Garden with the girls. Mia slept soundly and Vera sat up in a high chair and munched on oranges. It was so cute! She kept putting everything but the rind in her mouth- she looked like a little orange face. I'm telling you, that girl is going to break some hearts.

While hanging out at Sammy's later, Megan O... and Beth stopped by. Beth and I haven't spoken since I found out I was having Mia. I was really beligerent with her when she tried to warn me about Garry. I said some really awful things and basically severed our relationship. I feel... indescribably awful. She was with me through the toughest times of my life and knows me better than I know myself. And still I refused to acknowledge that she might be on to something when it came to that... him. It was really, really awkward. She greeted me, but I could tell she wasn't really happy to see me. A few days earlier, I had penned a letter of apology to her. Telling her how much I thought about her all the time and how I missed her. I tried to explain how I was feeling when I started getting too involved with Garry... how I just got out of control. I told her Mia was incredible and that even all this heartache has been worth it to have her in my life...

Yesterday she texted me and told me that she couldn't respond yet, but she respected the fact that I was willing to apologize... and that once she sorted her thoughts out she would contact me.

I don't think there's any way I could make it up to her... but all I can do is hope. I need to surround myself with people who truly love me- and she's one that I've always been able to count on for that.

After leaving Sammy's I went to visit with Justine. I missed her face so much. Her new apartment is lovely. She is lovely. I am so angry with myself for abandoning her the way I did. Things would be alot different if I had just listened to those girls in the first place and stayed far, far away from Garry.

Kidi Bunny is HUUUUGE! I loved looking at her collages on the walls. It makes me sad how much I missed. How much I'm going to miss.

My birthday's coming up. It's hard to believe one year ago I turned 21. I have aged a decade. Last year I went out for the requisite face time with my friends and then ran home to Garry. I went to South Beach with Justine- and called Garry three times a day because I missed him.

And this year I'll be at home with Mia and my family. Not a bad way to celebrate, don't get me wrong. But a part of me is so furious that Garry's birthday was just a few weeks ago and he was out on the town with her. He got to go see all of his friends, go out to the bars, enjoy himself. He is more free than before I was pregnant. And it just seems... so unfair that I allowed him to take away my 21st birthday. And now he's taken away my 22nd.

But life's not fair. I need to stop being petty and acknowledge that Mommyhood is more important that birthdays. It also yields greater rewards.

Since I've been hitting you with heavy, heavy, heavy stuff- it's time for a touch of comedy.

No one warned me.

No one mentioned what would happen.

To Mia's poop.

When.
I.
Switched.
to.
Formula.

I went to pick her up from her nap this morning and change her diaper and it had escaped! No, EXPLODED from her diaper! And it was not the mild, liquid-ey poop of diapers past. It was like... real poop! And it was EVERYWHERE!!!

As I'm on my 6th wipe to clean up, the unthinkable happens. Just when you think there was no more poop to be had- here it comes right from the source! What was to happen next would shock and awe you.

I patiently waited for the pooping to subside, wipe at the ready- just then she tooted!

I had been warned about projectile vomiting- but not about projectile pooping! That sucker flew 4 inches!

Only one word for it.

Houdini-esque.